What tree…….

Yearns for love? – Pine

Lies in your hand? – Palm

Remains after a fire? – Ash

Is found at the seaside? – Beech

Needs deodorant? – Stinkwood

Is spick and span? – Spruce 


My wife is………

…a rare find, says an archaeologist 

…in a class of her own, says a teacher 

…one in a million, says a statistician

…out of this world, says an astronaut 

How Are You?

Traffic officer: Fine

Property developer: Losing ground

Weightlifter: Bearing up

Mountaineer: On top of the world 

AWB Member: All right 

Gym instructor : Fit

Athlete: Keeping pace

Bank robber: Holding up

Calling Cards:

Tennis stars: Aces

Casanovas: Hearts 

Social butterflies : Clubs

Gardeners : Spades

Jewellers : Diamonds 

 Putting Them In Their Place:

He puts the “rat” in “ingratitude” 

She puts the “tank” in “cantankerous “

She puts the “mess” in “domestic “

He puts the “ox” in “obnoxious “

Mood Markers:

He travelled through his days at a hundred smiles per hour 

Her feelings shattered like fine glass.

He pulled his thoughts over his ears so as not to hear.

She laughed, and the shadows departed. 

He collected his minutes on a shelf of years.

She liked to steep herself in tea and reflection.



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